Sunday, March 28, 2010

LADIES IN FUR

ORIGINALLY POSTED 8-26-2008

The previous post about furry faced femmes started my brain a tingling with the usual flurry of ridiculous ponderings (Don't bother looking - that one didn't make the cut!). It struck me that they are precious few films that feature a gorilla of the opposite sex. Typically one would be safe to assume the angry ape would have to be male but there are a handful of movies where the sex of the onscreen beast is most certainly female. Here's a breakdown of ones that leap to mind, though my wife claims I don't pay enough attention to her, so it's certainly plausible a girly gorilla or two might have been overlooked (POTA and Zera aside).

TARZAN
Pick your version of the film but every origin tale contains the pivotal point of Lord Greystoke's adoptive ape mother's death.

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Elmo Lincoln discovers his ape mother dead.

CAPTIVE WILD WOMAN
It doesn't take Evelyn Ankers long to notice that her animal tamer beau's ape appears to fancy him, but when the gorilla undergoes surgical transformation into a smoking hot woman, things get even stranger.

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The lovely Aquanetta and her simian former self.

BRIDE AND THE BEAST
It's brief and perhaps somewhat of a spoiler so if you want the specific details, highlight and read further. This Ed Wood film is an odd yarn about a newlywed bride that was once an ape herself, revealed in a hypnotically induced flashback. Another unique aspect of the ape femme is the white or possibly blond fur, a trait shared with only a handful of other cinema simians.

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That cozy Angora sweater is much more than comfortable and stylish - it's also subtext

KING KONG LIVES
Kong with boobs - it's a truly disturbing sight. Doubly disturbing considering that there's a fella inside the suit. The King doesn't seem to mind though. I have yet to upgrade from my VHS copy of this turkey and I had no luck finding a screen grab of the lady in question. Words can't do her justice.

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You would think a little action would have mellowed him somewhat.

QUEEN KONG
Did I already mention an ape suit with breasts is disturbing? There's no mistaking Queen Kong's features in this awful British comedy that switches up the genders of the source materials lead characters. Looking back to my original post and review of the film, I am astounded I covered it in so much detail.

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The only thing more distracting then her chest is the way she coifs that fur.

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One final reminder that filmmakers should just steer clear of gorilla gals.

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